Fit’s it caa’d? Humour and the limitations of standardised phonology assessments

Living in the North East of Scotland and being a speech and language therapist surrounded by 'bumf' and jargon, I was tickled by this viral email of Doric office speak that came in today. As Kim Mears says in 'My top resources' in the Autumn 10 issue of Speech & Language Therapy in Practice, such humourous emails can make your day… They also remind us that standardised phonology assessments have their limitations!

General

 

Process Flowcharts

The wye tae dee things

Departments

Bourachies o' Fowk

Roles (Job Titles)

Fit the folk are caa'd

Resources

Handy things tae hae handy

Value

Foo mony or foo muckle

Unit of measure

Foo mony or foo muckle fit

 

 

Concepts and Standards

 

Quality

Fit wye a thingmie's fit for fit it's supposed tae fit

Competency

Fit ye're fit for

Business Risk

Onything that can mak' an erse o'fit ye're trying tae dee

Documentation

Bumf

Document Register

Faur tae look for mair bumf

Retention Period

Haud on til't for

 

 

Processes

 

Process Reference

Fit it's caa'd

Process Title

Fit it's tae dee wi'

Process Owner

Heid mannie

Approver

Fa says "aye"

Draft

Nae quite feenish'd

 

 

Tasks (within a process)

 

Task

Fit's deen

Responsible

Fa does't

Informed

Tell't

Consulted

Speired at

Assists

Gies a haun til

Accountable

Fa's heid's on the block if a'thing gings erse ower tit

Create

Mak up

Refer to

Hae a lookie at

File/Archive

Pit awa'

 

 

Project Completion

 

Project

Jobbie

Completion Checklist

Ticketyboo tick list

 

So whether you're a heid mannie identifying onything that can mak' an erse o' fit ye're trying tae dee, you're nae quite feenish'd that jobbie you're working on, or you're arguing the case for more handy things tae hae handy, I hope all is ticketyboo with you the noo.

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